By J. Carter, Family Dynamics Desk
VICTORIA, B.C. – In a sunlit office overlooking Beacon Hill Park, family therapist June Hartley slides a single sheet of paper across her mahogany coffee table. On one side, printed in calm teal ink, is a list of expectations. On the other, a list of boundaries. Her clients—a father, his new wife, and his two wary teenagers—stare at it like a treaty ending a long war.
They aren’t far off. This is "The New Deal."
For decades, the archetype of the stepmother in popular culture has been a caricature of resentment: the interloper, the wicked witch, the woman who “knew what she signed up for.” But in Victoria, a quiet revolution in family therapy—spearheaded by clinician June Hartley—is rewriting that script. And it starts with admitting that the old deal was broken. familytherapy victoria june step moms new deal
Hartley is not alone. Family therapists across Victoria—from Langford to Sidney—report a surge in requests for “stepmom-specific contracts.” The BC Association of Clinical Counsellors recently hosted a sold-out webinar titled Deconstructing the Stepmother Wound.
“June has done something radical,” says Dr. Alisha Chen, a family therapist in Saanich. “She’s named the invisible labor. And she’s given stepmothers permission to stop being martyrs.”
Critics, however, call it “divorce insurance.” Some traditional family advocates argue the New Deal prioritizes the adult’s comfort over the child’s need for stability. “Stepparents are parents,” writes one family lawyer in a local op-ed. “You don’t get to opt out of discipline and call it therapy.” On one side, printed in calm teal ink,
Hartley’s response is characteristically blunt: “You can’t demand a stepparent act like a biological parent when you refuse to give them biological parent rights. That’s not a family. That’s a feudal system.”
Take "Sarah" (name changed for privacy), a 34-year-old project manager who lives in Langford. She married a widower with two daughters (ages 9 and 12) in December. By June, she was sleeping on the couch.
"The girls would ignore me when their dad was at work," Sarah told her therapist during an intake session for family therapy Victoria June step moms new deal program. "Then when he got home, they would cry that I was mean. I felt like a servant in my own house." They aren’t far off
Through eight weeks of intensive family therapy, Sarah and her husband renegotiated the "Deal." The husband now takes every Tuesday and Thursday to drive the girls to activities alone. Sarah is not required to attend parent-teacher conferences. And most importantly, the family installed a "whiteboard of responsibilities."
"When I tried to enforce chores, they hated me. Now, Dad enforces chores, and I get to be the one who takes them for ice cream when they finish," Sarah says. "That is the New Deal."
If you want to secure this family therapy Victoria June step moms new deal for your household, follow these steps today:
Victoria, 38, married Mark, 45, with one daughter, June (11). June’s biological mother, Sarah, lives out of state and is permissive during visitations. The presenting problem: June screams “You’re not my real mom!” and Victoria withdraws, then overcompensates with gifts. The therapist implements the New Deal: